Generation Axis Blog

Home for the Holidays is Not Always a Happy Song

For many within our community I am sure they are excited to head home for the holidays and celebrate with their families over food and wine.  But for others of us the holidays aren’t exactly sources of joy and can even bring deep-seated pain to the surface.  For those of you in this situation, I understand.

There are many in the Axis communities whom if they head home will face brokenness, anger, turmoil, and pain.  Family members caught up in ugly addictions, spouses torn apart by divorce, aunts and uncles that no longer speak with one another because deceit or abandonment from long ago. 

To those of us in that situation I ask, what does it look like to be Christ in our families?  I am genuinely asking this question because I do not know.  My family has been torn apart by divorce.  I barely see my father and hardly know the man that he is, and my mother’s pain is so deep that I do not know how to care for her without being hurt myself.  What would Christ have me do now?  What would it look like for me to incarnate Jesus in my own family and can I even do that?

When I picture Jesus in my family I see someone who is gracious, forgiving, who is so secure in the love of His father that he can scoop up the pain of the world and not be overcome by it.  I do not see any of those qualities in me.  I see Jesus being open and honest, calling my family into account for our actions but in a way that doesn’t cause shame but bathes our darkest secrets in a loving light.  I am unable to accomplish that.

So what does it look like for me to love my family this holiday season?  I’m not really sure but I think it will begin with a prayer.  Cheesy I know but I honestly don’t know where else to turn.

God grant me grace to forgive those things that still bring tears to my eyes and anger to my fists when I think upon them.  Unclench my hands and free me from my own anger.  Help me to trust that you are just and will protect and because of that promise I can engage my family fully and openly.  Grant me the courage to be honest, to share openly and not brush under the rug anything that needs to be seen in the light of day.  Give me hope that tomorrow can be better than today and that healing for all is possible.  But mostly God, be with me.  Be near me and come quickly when I call.  I cannot do this alone.  I cannot do this without You.

Faithful Servant vs Evil Servant - Are you Ready..

Faithful Servant vs Evil Servant... from Axis on Vimeo.

How is your listening?

How is your listening? from Axis on Vimeo.

Rise, Let Us Be Going.

Rise, Let Us Be Going. from Axis on Vimeo.

LOVE!

i am sitting in a church in Louisiana on my way to New Orleans with 15 other people. we are on a missions trip with the discipleship program i am part of. driving since yesterday morning i am trying to get prepared for the time god is giving me to serve him. before i left i downloaded some podcasts from my old church in Germany and randomly listened to one. god started to talk to me through this sermon. LOVE! love is a word in the bible when jesus talked about it,it always was an active thing. we can't just sit down and ask god for his love and than receive it and not live it out. we are challenged to LIVE it! it was never meant to be a passive thing.where does god challenge you today to BE LOVE? i am exited to see where god moves me though this experience and where i can live more radical for him.

1.John 3,18:   Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
there is nothing like a theoretical love.
we can't say i love someone and don't show it
we can't say as christians we love the world and not getting involved evangelistic.
we can't say i love god and don't talk to him (pray)
it is not possible to say i love gods word but we don't spent time reading it and meditating over it

Love has to become practical
marc 12,29+30 says:²⁹"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. ³⁰Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

love is practical ,but if it only would be practical we would burn up at a point.

Real Love consists of 3 things if it is complete:
1.with all your heart,that means with all your feelings
2. with all your thoughts,that is with your head,your thinking
3. with all your power,that is with everything you do

And if one or two are missing the whole thing is not in a balance.

if you only do things for god but never feel that god loves you and develop a feeling for god that your father in heaven is happy and thankful for you than everything you do will become "only actions".
often times as christians we put feelings aside, we think that is a weakness. but god wants us to develop a feeling for his spirit.

Love without emotions is dead.
jesus laughed,partied, cried... he knew emotions.they were part of his life.
but in the same way it is not only emotions. you can't say love is a feeling and if it is gone than the love is gone. it is too cheap to put it this way.
if you live with someone and love this person but you don't feel this love in your heart and your heart is cold and dead towards this person, i seriously ask you if this is real love.

we can also love god only from our brain or intellect. we can study theology and talk wise about it and understand it all. and we do things from our brain, what is better than not doing it at all. but this would also also not be what god wants. He wants us to have fun and a blessing out of what we are doing for him.
it is good to do something for god out of knowledge when we don't even often feel him in our hearts or head.
because if we are in a bad phase in our life we don't just stop praying, reading the bible, or go to church. We still do it out of an inner knowledge because we know it is good.

and than god meets us again maybe during worship where he touches us and we start crying because we feel his love he shows us.
so yeah all these 3 things are important.

it is dangerous just to act out of love but to shut down our head. an example for this is moses. he showed his love to god and his people by killing an Egyptian. if he would ave used his head and not overreacted he would know that this wasn't the best thing to do.this could have saved him alot of time in his calling.you know the story.he had to flew in the desert and hide and learn again what love means.
in the same way if we would use our head and not only feelings how many times would we not overreacted and and maybe hurt others feelings or so.

to the point:
if it is only an intelectual thing why we do things you will get to the point where you ask yourself why you do something. than you get there where you can't anymore tell from where you started and for what.
if you don't have the feeling anymore that god loves you than you also start asking yourself soon why do i do it and can't find an answer anymore.
if you are only active without any heart or head you will burn out.
if you only act out of emotions without your head you will make alot of mistakes.

if all these things are in an equal balance our love is fully powerful!

we will probably never be perfect in all 3 things but thats why we have each other to help  each other to get there.

Without Words

The last couple of months I've found myself coming to God without words.  I've opened up my journal and not known what to write.  It's like my soul has dried up and I have nothing to give, I just sit there.  It got to the point where I started feeling bad about it.  I mean when we pray we're supposed to talk right?

But lately I've been thinking otherwise.  It's not that words are bad, just not always necessary.  I feel like I'm bringing my whole self to God and I can't put that into words.  I've brought myself hoping to connect spirits.  I mean isn't that what prayer should be about?  Us connecting our spirit to God's?  

So if you find yourself going to God without words be encouraged.  You're not alone.  Sometimes it's hard to put our spirits into language and you just need to hope that something mystical takes over.  I mean it is pretty mystical, us connecting our spirits to God's.  But I think that's what happens.  So today as you pray, if you have words, let them flow, but if you are without words rest in the promise that God is with you and will always refresh your soul.

Giving God a Call

This article over on Soul Pancake talks about a Dutch artist who has set-up phone type booths where people can kneel and pray.  What do you think about the idea?